Saturday night television took an absurdly chaotic turn when everyone favorite New York city correspondent Stefon dropped by the Weekend Update desk to offer nightlife tips for St Patrick Day tourists.
Brought to life by Bill Hader, the beloved character immediately fought off breaking character as he introduced Colin Jost and Michael Che to some of the most surreal and baffling underground venues in Manhattan.
As millions of visitors descended upon the Big Apple for the holiday parade, Stefon delivered his trademark rapid fire list of impossible club locations and bizarre party games.
Kicking off his recommendations for anyone drunk in Midtown East doing cheap coke off a laundry cart, Stefon unveiled New York hottest club named Gaddush.
This former CVS which became a Chase Bank and then became a CVS again offered an eclectic mix of death sets, key fobs, and kale chips alongside Roman J Israel Esquire.
Colin Jost quickly fell right into Stefon trap by asking for details about the venue party game known as The Stranger.
Stefon delivered a hilariously awkward explanation involving sitting on Billy Joel hand until it went numb so one could pretend it was Bruce Springsteen hand.
Attempting to steer the segment back on track, Jost suggested something with more of an Irish theme for the holiday crowds.
Stefon enthusiastically embraced the prompt with a series of movie references before introducing an outrageous Irish themed club called Off to Church Mother.
Located in a gang ridden skateboard park in the Bronx at the corner of 3000 Street and Garry Marshall Memorial Drive, the venue supposedly served as the ceremony spot for Vern Troyer 2004 wedding.
This outlandish spot featured Peeps, Ted Talks, Roman J Israel Esquire, and Ireland's hottest Farrakhans.
When Jost questioned whether Louis Farrakhan would actually be at the club, Stefon clarified that it referred to Farah Khans who looked like Farah Fawcett, though he cheerfully added that Louis Farrakhan would also be there.
Moving past the chaos, Stefon introduced an ordinary sounding venue located in the upside down world called Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, Please.
This haunted hospice was closed down by inspectors after they discovered a sexy form of asbestos that caused a disease Stefon playfully dubbed me so hornyoma.
The venue featured young popes, old popes, Roman J Israel Esquire, and Long and Low Night on Wednesdays when a dozen hot dachshunds and corgis got in free.
Stefon admitted he did not trust any dog whose stomach touched the ground before plunging into an explanation of the VIP room feature known as human squatty potties.
Hesitant to use a potentially insensitive word, Stefon consulted his lawyer and concept tulle artist named Shy who stepped out in front of the cheering audience.
With Shy reassurance, Stefon defined the setup as two little people crouching on the bathroom floor so guests could place their feet on their heads for better posture.
Jost dryly remarked that he was glad they made sure to make that sound more sensitive before Stefon humorously attempted a segment crossover.
Stefon wrapped up his chaotic tour of New York nightlife by shouting out Jill Stein 2020 while leaving Jost and Che to close out the broadcast.
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